Local Man Set to Compose World’s Last Musical

The end of Musicals called for

Georgetown, ON

George Town, of no fixed address (although in Georgetown), has told anyone who will listen that he is composing the world’s last musical.

“That’s right, “ he muttered, “That format of entertainment has been around since 1898, and it has run its course!  Name a real life situation where people break into song, except at concerts?”

Mr. Town proceeded to itemize that every possible topic has been represented already.

“There are musicals about people: Mame, Tommy, Annie, Porgy & Bess, and Evita,” Town listed.

“Then there’s Fiddler on The Roof that has to be about a rooftop pedophile,  Pirates of Penzance is clearly the prequel to the film Captain Phillips, and Annie Get Your Gun that is obviously an NRA production promoting armed females!”

No, Town was quite finished with his press conference a.k.a. monologue.

“Do we really require travelogue plays too?  I submit that New York, New York, Chicago, South Pacific, Brigadoon, and Meet Me in St. Louis are just that.”

Not disenchanted with the lack of enthusiasm from this reporter, Town ranted on.

“Why did the world need a musical about urology: The Wiz, cloning: Hello, Dolly, and even one about a lousy golfer: Bye Bye Birdie,” Town whined.

Finally, our wannabe composer got around to announcing his ultimate creation.

“Since this particularly medium has no place in today’s world and it stinks, I am calling the world’s last musical DUMP!”

Town was last seen gathering empty beer bottles with which to fund his shitty production.

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